I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how drunk are you?
Several
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
