i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
