How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think my moral compass just broke
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
