I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
His nipple licking is glorious
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