you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
