go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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