This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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