his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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