I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
