I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
time to smoke my breakfast
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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