i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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