Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can I color on your dick again?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
