pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
