Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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