she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
