You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
