Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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