Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
