Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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