yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
