worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
