Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
