Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
