dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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