I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
