what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
