I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
