There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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