Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
