The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
