when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
handjob tips. give me some.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
