3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
