at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
