I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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