i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize