Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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