Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
