I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
