How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
