the condom got lost in my hair
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
