We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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