Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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