too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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