It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
