so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
