The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
