Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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