Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
