I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
