Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
