ya dads aren't the best wingmen
thus making me awesome and them whores
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
