My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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