FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
