maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
