I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
