just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
