great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
