she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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