Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
