What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
