her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
