so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize