So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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