Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
